Who ya gunna call? Not Daniel, maybe the Ghostbusters?

So number one pet peve about deployments might just be that the phone only goes one way. I can't call him when I need tell him something important and he can't exactly always call me either. When there's big important news to share you always want to call your love because he's the one that has always been there for you. Because he knows, without saying anything, why you need to talk to him about this. You don't need to explain yourself or the back story. You don't really even need to explain anything because he already knows what you're going to say. That's why this deployment totally sucks this week for me.

I remember when I graduated college and Daniel was about 3 weeks into bootcamp at that point. I was walking through Target (my favorite celebatory location, of all places I go here to clear my mind) right after I finished my very last college class FOREVER, and I picked up the phone to call Daniel so he could rejoice with me. But as the number rang and went straight to voicemail I was quickly reminded that he is not here to celebrate with me today. He is not here to smile at me and say "Good Job Kaitlyn!" He's not here to give me a hug and tell me how proud he is that I finished what I set out to do. That was a very realistic moment for me, to understand that often times he may not be there when I need or want him the most.

Occasionaly I am reminded of this, even though it's something I fully understand at this point. Just last week I picked up  my phone Friday to call Daniel and ask him where the nearest Radio Shack was cuz I was driving out of town and need to buy a car charger for the portable dvd player thingy. I actually went so far as to go to my "favorite's" list in my phone contacts when I realized he can't exactly pick up from Japan. So I laughed at myself for my silly forgetful nature and put the phone back in my cup holder (which of course is the only place I keep my phone when I'm driving as I am ALWAYS waiting for his phone call, even on the go).

Yesterday wasn't so much a reminder that he's not here to talk to me about what happened, but more of another "knotch on my belt" of experiences gone through without him here. And now I'm more concerned with him finding out the news from anyone other than myself, and that's not exactly a comfort knowing I'm not there to ease his mind when he hears then news. I guess I signed up for this but it doesn't mean I have to be okay with it. Today I wish there was a phone I could call and be like "Hey, I need to talk to my Marine like NOW!" But we all know that's not exactly how is works. After not talking to him for somewhere between 7 and 14 days I get to enjoy a fun conversation about this horrible tradjedy back home. Not exactly what you want to spend your precious time talking about, but it's not something I can keep until he comes home. So, I keep waiting another day or maybe another week for the phone to ring.